With today’s diet culture, developing and maintaining a healthy relationship with food can be difficult. You have been conditioned to believe certain food rules exist: no eating after a certain time of day, certain foods or food groups are bad and skipping meals is the fastest way to achieve the results you want. However, this way of thinking is largely flawed — and even dangerous.
Food is fuel, but it’s also much more than that. You don’t just eat to survive, you eat for pleasure, you eat for tradition and you eat when socializing with family and friends. When you look at food as more than just a fuel source, you can learn to value it and make healthier choices for your body.
What is a negative relationship with food, and how can you fix it? A negative relationship with food exists when you come to believe or follow certain diets or habits that are too extreme. Here are a few examples of a negative relationship with food:
- Feeling guilt and stress associated with food
- Restricting foods or entire food groups
- Creating food rules: “I can’t eat that because it’s a bad food”
- Ignoring hunger cues
- Skipping meals
- Punishing yourself for eating something: “I had a donut for breakfast, so I am not going to have anything for lunch to make up for it”
- Trying to exercise away something you ate
- Yo-yo dieting
- Overeating or binging uncontrollably
In contrast, a positive relationship with food involves the following:
- Giving yourself permission to eat all foods: All foods fit!
- Listening to your body’s hunger cues: Eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full
- Not restricting yourself or following extreme food rules
- Not obsessing over the foods you eat
- Enjoying your food: Creating an experience and being present in the moment while eating
- Choosing foods that make you feel good even after you eat, such as foods rich in the vitamins/minerals your body needs
Here are a few key habits for balanced eating and adopting a more positive relationship with food:
1. Give yourself permission to eat all foods
All foods fit into your diet! A typical healthy diet is one that is balanced and includes all food groups. Diets don’t work because they aren’t a lifestyle. In fact, 95% of people who lose weight on a diet tend to regain it over the next few months because it isn’t sustainable. In contrast, balanced eating is a lifestyle. It isn’t something you start and stop, and it can be simple if you follow these guidelines:
Include:
- A variety of fruits and vegetables
- Grains, at least half of them being whole grains
- Fat-free or low-fat dairy products
- Lean protein sources
- Healthy oils
Limit/Be mindful of (but don’t cut out entirely):
- Added sugars
- Saturated fat
- Sodium
- Alcoholic beverages
Limiting does not mean cutting out completely, and it doesn’t mean you should consider the food bad. Labelling a food as bad gives the food unnecessary power. Of course, some foods are more nutritious than others, but eating a single food is not going to drastically affect your weight or health in any way. If you tell yourself you can’t have something, it is human nature to want it even more. Rather than cutting these foods out altogether, just be mindful of the amount you are consuming regularly.
2. Eat regularly/Don’t skip meals
Have you ever skipped a meal? How did you feel? What happened later in the day? You were probably hangry, weak and uncontrollably ravenous later on. Some people skip breakfast or other meals to lessen the calories they consumed throughout the day or to punish themselves for eating something indulgent. However, skipping meals will inevitably lead to overeating later, not to mention a drop in your mental clarity and performance. If you know you are going to have an indulgent food or meal later, you can adjust your meals to account for that by eating something healthy and lighter, but never punish yourself by not eating altogether. By eating regularly and not skipping meals, you will feel at your best mentally and physically.
3. Listen to your body
Get to know your hunger and fullness cues, and listen to them. If your stomach is growling or you’re feeling hungry, eat something! On the flip side, acknowledge when you are getting full or when you aren’t hungry at all. Before aimlessly snacking, be honest with yourself — are you eating out of emotion and grazing just because you are bored? Lastly, ignore your parents’ old orders to sit at the table until your plate is clean. When you’re full, you’re full. Don’t force yourself to finish something just because it is placed in front of you. Eating in the present moment, free from distractions, is a great way to stay on top of your hunger cues.
4. Set yourself up for success: Control your portions
All foods fit — I can’t stress that enough. However, you want to make sure you are setting yourself up for success. If there is a food that you have trouble eating in moderation, like ice cream, consider not keeping it in the house. When you want ice cream, go to your local shop and eat it! Not only will this make it a fun and special experience, but it will ensure a proper portion rather than aimlessly eating it when you want. Similarly, when applicable, purchase things that are already pre-portioned or take the time to portion them out yourself ahead of time.
5. Give yourself grace
Respect your body, and give yourself grace. All bodies are different and have different needs. No one is perfect. Remind yourself one food item is not going to alter your life or body. Focus on eating with balance, and you will surely be happier and healthier long–term.
Food is fuel, but it’s also so much more than that. With these habits, you can learn to have a more positive relationship with food and be on your way to better physical and mental health.
by Megan McKee